


The Useless Prince

by b43b3n



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Holding Hands, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Prince Blaine, bein' gay, ex-monk Kurt, he escaped from the monastery y'all, oh btw spoilers but some1 is plotting a revolution, piss off sebastian, prankster Blaine, pretending to be straight (but there's humour it okay)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-22 04:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10689714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b43b3n/pseuds/b43b3n
Summary: Prince Blaine is the most useless prince in all of history and he's pretty happy with that until the King and Queen decide that he should get married to some stranger called Tina, but Lady Tina isn't the only newcomer to Dalton Palace that day...Enter Kurt Hummel, he's gorgeous, he's gay, he's currently pretending to be someone he's not, and those things make him a heck of a lot more interesting to Blaine than anything else in this stupid palace.-HIATUS COS I'M AN IDIOT-SANDWICH AND LEFT MY LAPTOP CHARGER IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY (also kind of lost inspiration)-





	1. The one where they meet and run through the corridors holding hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey readers!  
> Just some notes to get you started:  
> \- This is meant to be set in the early to mid 1800s in a purposely vaguely European country.   
> \- My apologies, I am not a history buff ignore any inaccuracies.  
> \- This fic will be about 8 or 9 chapters long and should be wrapped up within a month.  
> \- There's a bit of swearing
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Blaine had pain. The pain had a name. The name was Queen Pam Anderson and she was Blaine’s mother.

As wonderful and kind as Blaine’s mother was, she took far too much pleasure from his pain and right now he could have sworn that her eyes were glowing red like a demon’s as she yelled at him.

“Don’t ever do a thing like again!” She screeched at him as she tugged him by his ear to her private office in the western wing of the palace.

Around him the servants of his father, the King, pretended not to stare at the sight while the Queen’s servants that had followed them from Nordtun Castle ignored the fairly usual sight. Blaine grimaced and waved at his manservant Sam who rolled his eyes and walked on past.

“Sam you traitor!” He called out “Help me!”

“I’m sure Her Highness the Queen is helping you enough” was the response, same as always.

Blaine was constantly getting himself into trouble, although it could hardly be considered his fault. He hadn’t asked to be the second son of the New King who had married the widow of the Old King, and he hadn’t asked for his mother to be his father’s third wife. It was complicated but put him in the wonderful position of being technically important but also rather irrelevant. At the time of his birth he’d been nicknamed _The Useless Prince_ and it had stuck as he grew up and it became clear he didn’t have the temperament of a political ruler. Once, his older brother had even unkindly commented that Blaine was better suited to being the King’s Fool. Being a fool and useless was incredibly boring, which is why he maintained that it wasn’t his fault that he had to find less conventional ways of entertaining himself.

Once, when Blaine was nine years old he had dressed up as a kitchen boy and had put a whole bag of pepper in the soup for his cousin Artie. Then, later when he was older and his brother stayed with them he put several chickens and a hungry goat into his brother’s chambers while he on a hunt. He’d laughed about the look on his Cooper’s face for weeks afterwards until the King had shipped Blaine off to stay long term with the Queen who was governing Nordtun castle.

Now he and his mother had returned from all the 8 years of political business at Nordtun and were back in Dalton Palace in the Capital. Apparently that meant that Blaine wasn’t allowed to get away with “unseemly behaviour”.

“I have expectations Blaine! We are at Dalton Palace now so act like it!” His mother scolded him once they reached her private study.

“But mama! You said it didn’t matter that I liked boys” he protested.

“No, I said you’re my son and I love you a lot. I _also_ said don’t let your father know.” she said, crossing her arms.

“He doesn’t know!”

“Not yet he doesn’t, but then you do stupid things like that and he’s bound to find out”

Queen Pam had caught him fooling around with a boy called Sebastian. Sebastian was not a nice boy; he was a bastard of the court and constantly trying to prove his worth by picking on the weaker man. Blaine thought that it was very tacky but Sebastian was both very attractive, and gay. They’d met last week and had gotten into an argument Sebastian tripping Sam up on the stairs of the north tower. After a bit of shouting and a warning glance from Sebastian’s father they took the argument into Blaine’s private chambers and then Sebastian had kissed him. One thing quickly led to another and soon they were completely naked on Blaine’s bed, bodies bucking up into each and writhing together in pleasure. Blaine called it hate sex, one of them would find the other, they’d argue over something, and then they would fuck.

It was an absolutely fantastic arrangement until today when they got caught. Blaine had confronted Sebastian in the stable after he had seen him kick a cat. A few words and a couple of punches later Blaine’s mother had walked in on Blaine as he was ripping Sebastian’s shirt off him as they rolled in the hay. Now Blaine was facing the wrath of the devil.

“Fine! I’ll be more careful” he said and rolled his eyes.

“Like hell you will! You’re not going to see Sebastian again.”

“Mama!”

“I’m serious Blaine. I’m arranging for Sebastian to be sent on a holy pilgrimage that’s going to last a good 6 months, and that’s _only_ because I can’t arrange anything long term without a huge fuss.”

 Blaine hated to think what a long term fixture could mean. “What! That’s a joke right? Sebastian on a holy pilgrimage! Mama why are you doing this? Are you insane?!”

“No, I’m very clever.” She paused and uncrossed her arms “Blaine you’re 18 years old, you need to start behaving like a man. Stop rolling around in the hay with the less desirables of court.”

“The bloody hell does it matter anyway? The King doesn’t care about me; the court thinks I’m a joke!” he exclaimed.

 “Blaine.” His mother’s voice was calm and cold, which meant that the worst was yet to come. “I should have told you this before we left Nordtun but dear, you are going to get married.”

“Married? Married! Are you _fucking_ kidding me! To who?”

“Mind your language! Yes, you’re getting married and it is going to secure you some very important political ties. Her name is Lady Tina Cohen-Chang and she is a very nice young woman.” His mother explained.

“I don’t care that she’s nice. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Marry. A. GIRL!”

“Blaine Anderson, you will court and marry Lady Tina and you will do so politely and kindly, you and your wife will move back to Nordtun and have a son. Then, and only then, will you be allowed to go back to fooling around with horrible bastards like Sebastian, secretly, from the comfort of your _own_ home.”

“I shan’t get married!”

“Oh you shall get married young man, or you’re joining the monastery and becoming a priest”

“I hate you!”

“I don’t care. Goodbye Blaine, I’ll see you tonight at the special ball we are having to welcome Lady Tina and her entourage to Dalton Palace. Dress nicely in clothes you can dance in.”

Blaine stormed out or his mother’s apartment and into the extensive gardens behind the southern wing. He found a stick and hit the heads off flowers he passed on this way to the small lake. The secret beach he had discovered when he was 8 was still there and untouched, as calm and peaceful as ever even if he had had to fight his way along the overgrown path. This had been his quiet place as a child and he hadn’t ever told anyone about it, not even his cousin Artie.

It was here by the lake that Blaine lost track of time, skimming stones across the flat water in the warmth of the early summer air. Suddenly he heard a fanfare from the palace, and figured that it was signalling the arrival of the hag that would become his wife. Blaine decided that it would be worth seeing what she looked like in case he needed to pre-prepare compliments on her bad looks.

He stalked through the quiet halls of the west wing towards the main gate, still absolutely furious at his mother’s request; he hadn’t even had a choice in what irritating girl he had to marry. Didn’t the King and Queen know that Blaine was not suited for a life of marriage and court and responsibility?

Blaine picked up a small stone and hurled it at a tapestry that hung up on the wall. It hit the depiction of the King with a small thud and fell to the floor.

_Fuck the King._

Wrapped up in his angry thoughts he didn’t hear the approaching footsteps.

“Excuse me, I was wondering where the Ballroom was” said a high male voice.

Blaine turned; ready to tell whoever this flouncy Baron’s son this was to kindly piss off all the way back to his mother’s womb but stopped when he saw the boy’s face.

There, at the corner by the stairwell stood a young man about his age. He was tall and slender without looking like a stick and he had a gorgeous face with porcelain skin, blue eyes, and perfectly styled hair. Blaine forgot to speak.

“Sorry. I’m just a bit lost, I can ask someone else” The boy said nervously, and turned to leave. He had apparently not recognized Blaine and although he was dressed nicely enough, he didn’t quite pass for nobility. This boy was a civilian; a commoner despite his stunning features. The young man didn’t look like he worked in a trade and he obviously cared about his appearance…

_gay?_ thought Blaine.

Blaine smiled at him and noted how the other boy’s cheeks went pink. _Yeah, he’s gay._

“No, no. it’s okay, I can show you.” Blaine found his words and walked over to the boy “ _Pleasure_ to meet you, my name is Sam Evans. I’m the prince’s personal manservant.” He lied with ease.

“Helloo Sam, I’m Kurt Hummel. The only son of the Earl of Barvia.” It was clearly a lie but Kurt (If that was even his name) was clearly flattered by Blaine’s attention.

He wasn’t completely sure why he did it but he was wanting to rebel, wanting to see how far he could push just in case he could push far enough to get what he wanted and here was a boy who was also pushing rules. Here was a beautiful stranger who blushed when Blaine smiled at him and Blaine wanted to see if he could get away by promoting him to ‘noble’ for one night only. It would be fantastic if he did, and hilarious to see the Queen’s reaction if he didn’t.

 “You’re looking for the ballroom? I know a short cut.” Blaine beckoned and started walk in the opposite direction of the ballroom.

“Oh thank you, one of the maids gave me directions but I got lost.” Kurt quickly caught up to him.

 “Are you going to Banquet welcoming the Lady Tina?” Blaine asked him politely.

“Uh…ya, Yes I am."

 “I’m sorry to break this to you but you’re going to need some better party clothes to pass a noble.”

“What... How?” Kurt looked crestfallen.

 “I’ve got an eye for these things…. Kurt?”

“Yes, that is my real name. Oh dear.” Kurt looked crushed.

“No matter, we’ll borrow you some of the prince’s clothes”

“Won’t he mind?” Kurt looked concerned.

“He won’t know. Come with me” Blaine offered out his hand to Kurt who took it. He tugged Kurt along, breaking into a run along the quiet passage ways of the palace.

Blaine hadn’t lived here since he was 10 but he remembered the hallways well. They ran past servants’ quarters and the washroom, past the room with the piano that Blaine was _allowed_ to play, they ran up and down and around corners until they reached Blaine’s rooms.

“Here, try these” Blaine threw a grey silken waistcoat and a dark blue coat with tails to Kurt. The young man already had a very fanciful neck scarf and well fitted trousers, but if he was wearing an expensive coat like this it could fool anyone into believing he was nobility.

“Won’t the prince notice?”

“No, he _never_ wears those. I’m not convinced he even knows that he owns them, a pity really, they’re very nice.” 

Kurt ducked behind the privacy curtain and began to change.

“Who are you really? I should probably check you’re not here to sabotage or kill anyone.” Blaine asked.

He heard a snort from behind the curtain. “I’m a singer… and an ex monk for about a year now”

“A monk?! What did you do to get kicked out of the monastery?”

“I didn’t actually get _exiled_ , I left. I wanted to see the world, to see life in full”

“So now you’re pretending to be the son of an Earl?”

“Exactly, thank you so much for helping me Sam.”                          

“Not a problem, but if you get caught just don’t mention my name, and come meet me outside this window tonight to return the clothes”

Kurt stepped out from behind the curtain. He looked smart, he looked noble, and it something to Blaine’s insides to see him wearing his clothes. Speaking of clothes, Blaine needed to wear something appropriate too. He grabbed a black coat with red piping and slid it on. Kurt looked at him funny, which Blaine ignored.

“Let’s go” he told Kurt and offered his arm out to him. Kurt shyly hooked his arm around his and they made their way to the ballroom. They stopped outside the closed doors and Kurt reached out to fix Blaine’s collar.

_If he thought I was the prince that would be a bold move._

“All good to go Sam” he said.

Blaine pushed open the doors and walked into the light of thousands of candles on glittering chandeliers.

The Master of Ceremonies saw him enter and announced “Ladies and Gentlemen, the one and only, His Highness Prince Blaine Anderson.”

Blaine smiled charmingly at the room of attendees. He took an elaborate bow and dramatically kissed the hand Lady Rachel, the closest noble woman, who giggled and swooned. Then he turned back around to the entrance where Kurt stood gaping and frozen in place, and winked at him.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, and less than gentle women and men” Blaine started, the crowd laughed “I invite you to meet my good friend Kurt Hummel from Barvia!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my first chapter!
> 
> Next chapter we get to meet Lady Tina... is she nice? is she beautiful? is she smart? (yes, it's Tina Cohen-Chang ffs) Is Kurt going to freak out that he's been running around holding hands with THE PRINCE ? Will Klaine be over before is starts? Stay tuned to find out.
> 
> Please leave Kudos and a comment. It's been awhile since anyone last taught me proper grammar an sentence structure so if mine is irritating you please let me know how to fix it!
> 
> Next chapter will be up tomorrow and after that I'm going to be posting twice a week? maybe.


	2. The one where we get to meet Tina - and Blaine gets to dance with Kurt.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Tina and find out that most of the people Blaine knows are kind of racist. Tina is nice, Korean food is weird, Rachel is crazy and all Blaine really wants to do is try and find a quiet spot to be alone with Kurt.

The crowd welcomed Kurt Hummel heartily.

When it came to the rich, wealthy, and noble of Dalton, there were many things Blaine could complain about. But their enthusiasm was not one. Sure, generally speaking they were enthusiastic about trivial things, but they were also enthusiastic about proper hospitality.

“Where’s Bavria?” Blaine overheard Rachel ask someone.

“Isn’t it in Germany?”

“No, that’s Bavaria”

“I think Bavria is made up”

“You’re crazy!”

Blaine smiled and started greeting guests. He introduced Kurt to Rachel before Kurt could come back from his shock of finding out that he’d been running through the hallways hand in hand with the Prince.

“Be nice to him. He’s had a long day of travel” He instructed before making his way through the crowd to charm forgiveness out of his parents.

Around him were many beautiful people, all dressed in their finest clothes and pretending that they were on top of the world. It was sometimes painfully boring to listen to drama about the latest hairstyles or who had the best or worst portrait done, but Blaine could speak that language fluently.  He wondered if Lady Tina was here yet, but as he scanned the room he realized that he still had no idea what she looked like. Blaine contemplated whether to follow through with his mother’s wishes to court the woman he was _supposed_ to marry or whether to cheerily ruin everything by accidentally spill a glass of red wine on her dress that evening. He was in the middle of those thoughts when the doors swung open again.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present, The Lady Tina Cohen-Chang.” Called out the Master of Ceremonies. The announcement was met by a stunned silence.

Everyone who was anyone (or everyone who knew how to gossip) knew that this was the woman that Prince Blaine was going to marry, but no one had gotten the memo that she wasn’t exactly local.

In the entrance way stood Tina Cohen-Chang. She was beautiful (Thank God); Jet black hair framed a pretty oriental face. Her dress was stunning, form fitting but modest, and made of silk from what Blaine assumed was her home land, it was not painfully elaborate and over decorated but neither did it make her look plain. She carried herself with the air of a queen, she knew she was clever and she knew she had to charm every person she met. The crowd however, were all fixed on the fact that she was Asian. They all stared, wondering… “ _Is this the woman who our beloved Useless Prince is going to marry?”_

It wasn’t fair really, how the people of Dalton could go from welcoming in one moment to closed up and unsmiling the next. Blaine didn’t know Lady Tina but he knew immediately that she was better than everyone else in the room, or at least better than the ones who were gawking at her like this was a circus and not a dance. All thoughts of ruining dresses with red wine left Blaine’s mind in a heartbeat, he knew didn’t need to be cruel to her to cause a scene at the Banquet. He just had to be kind.

Silence dragged on a moment too long before Blaine snapped out of his thoughts and rushed forward to where she stood. “Lady Tina Cohen-Chang!” he said loudly enough for the whole hall to hear. “It is truly a pleasure to meet you” he sunk to one knee and kissed her hand. “You look stunning tonight. I was told of your beauty and I cannot believe it was so understated. Come; let me show you to your seat so the banquet can begin!”

The crowd murmured for a moment then broke into awkward applause and uncomfortable cheers of “ _welcome”_. Blaine had succeeded in making an entire ballroom of people feel awkward for their judgement and by Jupiter, he was proud of it.

He offered an arm to the Lady, who graciously accepted it with a smile and allowed him to lead her to a seat next to his. The crowd parted for them and her entourage before moving away to sit at their own tables. Speeches were made by the King and Queen about the “ _joy”_ of having Blaine back at Dalton Palace and “ _how wonderful”_ it was to be welcoming the Kingdom of Korea into a partnership that was sure to be a _“unique exchange of culture and arts”_. Food was eaten, large platters of meat and potatoes that Blaine was used to were accompanied by large pots of strange looking soup carried in by Korean servants.

“What is this?” he asked Tina, it was the first thing he had said to her since her entrance.

“Chicken feet and Tofu soup” she replied. “You should try it.”

_Huh, if I marry this woman than let it be known that “Chicken feet and Tofu soup” were her first words to me._

None of the attendees in the hall had touched it, save for a few young men near the back who looked as though they were mocking it. Blaine considered it for a long moment before asking a servant serve him a small portion.

It tasted absolutely disgusting. Sure, he could see why Tina might like it since she was used to it but Blaine wanted to spit it out into a napkin and throw it over his shoulder. However, here was another opportunity to irritate the rich and wealthy who were in attendance that he couldn’t let go to waste.

“My God! This soup is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted!” he exclaimed out loud enough for most of the hall to hear.

The effect was instantaneous; scores of nobles were reaching for bowls of the horrid soup, tasting it, and trying not to grimace through the attack on their mouths. They were all too embarrassed to contradict him and instead suffered with angry smiles plastered on their faces. Blaine reached for his glass of wine and drank it back quickly to get the taste out of his mouth.

“Prince Blaine, are you alright?” asked Tina next to him, noticing his grimace.

“Yes, quite. I’m sorry my Lady but that soup was absolutely disgusting.” He confessed.

“Then why say it was delicious?”

“So that they all would have to drink it.” Blaine gestured to the crowd and grinned mischievously “Serves them right after how they first looked at you”

Thankfully Tina smiled “Thank you Prince Blaine… You are _more_ than I expected”

“Please, please call me Blaine to my face. Wait… I’m _more_ than you expected? Did they tell you I was a dwarf?”

“No, no!” She laughed “My apologies if this is crossing a line Pri- Blaine but I thought you would be stuck up”

Blaine feigned offence.

_Bless this woman._

Tina was honest. She wasn’t playing a game of ‘who can be the most court-appropriate’ she was polite but she was herself. It was a massive relief to Blaine, who had been worried that he would be forced to marry an ugly stuck up princess from a tacky kingdom who nagged at him every day while all he wanted to do was listen to music and get up close with handsome men. He still didn’t want to marry Tina, marriage meant producing an heir, and the mere thought of that made Blaine feel sick. But at least he wouldn’t mind being friends with this young woman.

Across the room he could see Rachel and Kurt talking. The young man was telling a story, gesticulating wildly. He looked right at home there in Blaine’s clothes, face lit up in a wide smile. Blaine knew next to nothing about him and yet this whole room believed they were close friends. He’d be damned if he let Rachel get to know Kurt more than he did. Also he knew he ought to talk to Kurt without pretending to be his own manservant.

At that moment Kurt turned at looked at him and smiled shyly. Blaine felt the world slow down slightly and his gut do a backflip. Getting to know Tina could wait, he had the whole summer to politely drive her away, but Kurt could be gone tomorrow.

“Lady Tina, please let me introduce you to my friends.” If he played this right he could offload Tina on to Rachel and escape out back with Kurt and a bottle of champagne.

“If I can call you Blaine then please just call me Tina” she told him and followed him to where Kurt and Rachel were seated.

Rachel made a big show of kissing Tina on both cheeks, setting a fortunate example for Kurt who looked out of his depth now that Blaine was closer. He was awkward and unsure around the Prince now that he knew that Blaine was royalty. All Blaine needed was to have a moment alone with Kurt to reassure him that everything was okay. Fortunately Rachel started asking Tina complex questions about her life in Korea and Blaine use the opportunity to sidestep towards Kurt.

“Nice to meet you Your Highness _Prince_ Blaine” Kurt said quietly, polite and unsure.

“Oh please, it’s just Blaine to you”

“Okay _Just Blaine_. My God. You’re the prince!”

“Surprise.”  He smirked.

“I’m wearing your clothes.” He seemed a bit in awe of the whole ‘royalty’ thing.

“Can’t ‘good friends’ lend each other clothes?” Blaine bumped his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you tell me who you were?”

“So I could see your expression when you found out.” Blaine explained as if it was the simplest thing in the world “Priceless darling. You’re _so_ cute”

Kurt blushed hard at that, but quickly recovered “Well if I had a reputation like yours I’d never tell people who I was either.”

Blaine’s mouth dropped open. Kurt had nerve, nerve that he didn’t really mind at all because Kurt’s smirk was the most interesting and teasing thing he’d seen since he’d come back to Dalton.

“Excuse me?!” Blaine was about to come up with a retort when music started playing. While they had been speaking some of the tables had been cleared to make space for dancing.

“Kurt! Come and dance with me” Rachel excitedly butted in.

“I’ll see you around _Useless Prince_.” Blaine watched his new object of fascination be dragged away and frowned.

Tina turned to him. “She’s… nice”

“Yes, indeed” Blaine was still wistfully staring after Kurt.

“Are you and her…?” Tina was too concerned.

“No! No, no, no never. May I have this dance?” He asked, not because he particularly wanted to dance with Tina, but because it was the right thing to do and it would get him closer to Kurt.

She took his hand and he led her to the dance floor. Tina was a talented dancer, and could talk and dance at the same time, thank god.

_Kurt called me Useless Prince… I don’t even know what that means anymore. I’m excellent at princely things like smiling and being charming when I want to._

For a split second Blaine wondered if his mother had a point about his indecent behaviour.

_I just hope that Kurt’s calling me that because Rachel told him rather than because he knew already. If that’s the name that I’m being called on the streets I’ll never be taken seriously._

“Tell me Tina, what is my reputation?” he asked her

“I’m not sure if I should say Blaine”

“Oh come on, make me day. Please” He begged her with puppy eyes.

“The nickname for you amongst nobles is ‘ _The Useless Prince_ ’”

“Oh that’s hardly new. Anything else?” _At least it’s only the nobles._

“Nothing I can think of really. What’s my reputation?”

“I hate to break this to you dear but I don’t think you have one, although I was told that you are a very nice person” _Which I only found out today._

The music changed and Blaine took break from dancing to let Tina be whisked away by his crippled cousin Artie. Kurt was dancing with Lady Brittany, who Blaine had heard was as dense as stale hard bread but lovely all the same. Rachel had disappeared with a gaggle of young women who were all most likely gossiping about either Tina or Kurt.

_Please Rachel, make me proud._ Blaine thought to himself.

Lady Brittany was a flashy dancer, but Blaine wasn’t watching her, his eyes were focussed on Kurt, how he smiled constantly, how his shoulders rolled and his hips swayed. Men normally didn’t dance like this, women learned to dance and put special attention to making the little things sensual. He was ‘ _the Useless Prince_ ’ but he’d been brought up in the court and he knew that sex was a weapon women wielded under the condition of subtlety and he was lucky to immune to that. But here was Kurt, wielding the same weapon. Blaine was hooked.

As night progressed, Blaine danced with a few different women of varying degrees of beauty but he hardly saw them. He wanted to escape away from the bright coloured dresses and follow Kurt into some quiet place and was sorely tempted to grab his hand and make a run for it as soon as the King and Queen left.

The orchestra started the opening chords for the final dance, a group dance. Finally it was the end of the night. Blaine found Tina and led her to stand next to Rachel and Kurt.

“I don’t know this dance!” she squeaked.

“It’s easy, just follow Rachel” he told her.

The dance started, and he walked the careful steps, circling his partner, back, forward and spinning her to the next partner. The dance was ingrained in his muscle memory. His next partner was Rachel.

“Your friend Kurt is a good dancer” she told him giggling breathlessly.

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t danced with him” he told her.

“You should” she laughed, and Blaine rolled his eyes at her.

He changed partners, and again and again. He liked this dance because he only had to spend a limited time with each girl and could focus on having a good time dancing. Suddenly he was dancing with Tina again, her steps near perfect now. He looked at Rachel as it was time for a partner change; she smiled wickedly at him before widely stepping around Kurt and spinning him towards Blaine.

Blaine caught him messily in his arms to the sound of giggles and laughter of fellow attendees. Kurt looked mortified, but Blaine was already known for his outrageous jokes and brushed it off.

_Thank you Rachel, you’ve done better than you know._

“Go with it” he whispered in Kurt’s ear. “Follow me”

They stepped through the dance with exaggerated movements, and spun Kurt towards the exit before they had to change partners. Blaine grabbed him in the traditional foxtrot hold and made a beeline for the exit, snatching up a bottle of champagne on the way. They paused at the doors and Blaine managed a messy pirouette and a bow.

“Farewell! Goodnight!” he called out.

The crowd laughed well naturedly as he closed the doors. Kurt stood a few feet away, breathing heavily. Blaine started laughing.

“What the hell was that?” Kurt squeaked on the ‘hell’

“A most fantastic dance” Blaine received a cold look in return. “Walk with me?” he asked and stepped towards the still mortified boy.

“Sorry. I should be going” Kurt fled down the corridor leaving Blaine confused and lost.

“Wait, you’ve still got my favourite coat!” he called out.

But Kurt was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed chapter 2. 
> 
> Will Blaine get his coat back? Is Blaine childish or is everyone boring? Who even is the King? Will Stoner-Brett (the only glee character who is unproblematic tbh) make an appearance in this fic? Seriously how do the rich and noble not know that Blaine is gay? Will Kurt come back? Who even is Kurt tbh? Is Bavria a real place? (no) Is this fic going to pick up speed?
> 
> Tune in next chapter for some answers... and a Balcony scene!... wait a dance and then a Balcony scene? oh dear I hope this story doesn't end tragically in a few days.
> 
> Remember please leave kudos and/or a comment if you're liking it. 
> 
> Thanks!


	3. The one where there's a balcony scene and singing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Romeo Romeo” he said into the night. “ROMEO, ROMEO!” he shouted it out, the court already thought he was eccentric, so let them see it with their own eyes if they cared to watch. “Wherefore art thou Romeo!”  
> “Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?” said a voice from the garden below.  
> “Kurt!” Just below him, standing with crossed arms and a smirk was Kurt. “You came back!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter you can see that I am taking way to much inspiration from Romeo and Juliette and also from Moulin Rouge (if you don’t know it you should right now watch the Elephant Medley and let Ewan McGregor’s vocal chords make you feel like you’re flying).

Blaine was deflated. Kurt had run off without a backwards glance and had left him alone. He didn’t even care about the coat, it just hurt that Kurt had run so damn fast. He plodded the steps to his private apartment on the lower floor of the south wing. The door swung shut, the champagne was put down and Blaine pulled off his formal coat, letting it drop into a heap on the floor.

“Hey, don’t drop that on the floor, it’s quite costly” A voice from the study said.

“Sam!” Blaine turned to see his manservant at the door adjoining door. 

Blaine had known Sam since he was 12. Blaine had been being bullied by a collection of boys just a bit older than him who called him _‘The Useless Prince’_ because they’d heard it from their parents in the court. Up to that point ‘ _The Useless Prince_ ’ was a just hushed nickname, kept secret from him. However, that first day he heard it, it stung the worst and his crying had only encouraged the boys to push him around. Sam, a baker’s son a few years older than him, had come to his rescue and dealt out split lips and bloody noses. In the chaos that ensued Blaine’s mother hired Sam and the rest was history.

“You don’t look so happy. Is the Lady Tina really that awful?” Sam picked up the coat, inspected it and put it on a hanger.

“It’s not about Tina.” Blaine huffed.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear about Sebastian being sent away”             

“Who gives a damn about Sebastian; he was a stain on the court society.”

“I completely agree with you.” Sam pulled off Blaine’s waistcoat and folded it away. “Forgive me if I’m crossing a line but is this something to do with your new friend from Bavria?”

“No comment”

“None expected”

“Why couldn’t you have been gay Sam?”

“Oh I was” Sam smiled “But your mother found out and put a hex on me to stop me from being a bad influence on you.”

Blaine laughed. Sam had the best jokes and he was the only person that Blaine allowed to imply that the Queen a witch.

“What would I do without you Sam?”

“Get a new manservant. Oh by the way the King has asked you to breakfast with him tomorrow at half past eight. Is there anything I can do for you before you go to bed?”

“No thank you, but please see that my father is informed that I will accept his demand-sorry I mean offer- for breakfast tomorrow. You are dismissed.”

“Goodnight Prince Blaine”

“Goodnight Sam”

The heavy door clicked shut behind him once again.

Blaine sighed. If he focusses he could still feel Kurt’s hand in his and see his happy smile.

_Why did Kurt have to run away like that?_

Blaine could still hear music in his head from the waltz he’d danced with Tina and pictured dancing with Kurt instead. Alone in his apartment away from prying eyes he danced with an imaginary Kurt.

_Right foot, two, three. Back, two, three. Around, two, three._

Out to the balcony he danced himself and leant against the railing. It was a pity that Kurt was not the mysterious foreign noble he was set to marry. Blaine tried to imagine it, standing in front of the formal court, proposing to a man, with a blessing from the King and Queen.

_Lord Kurt will you marry me?_

Blaine shook his head, what was he thinking? Marriage with a man was an impossibility, let alone marriage with one who was pretending to be the son of an Earl.

_Why couldn’t I be good at politics?_ He thought. _I can play the game so well but I can’t change it!_

“Marriage!” he declared to the silent sky. “Oh! To marry for love, what a dream.” nothing moved in the gardens below. No audience revealed itself so he continued his outrageous monologue

“Look at me! I’m a fool to speak of love after one meeting. Love is a lie, a political idea to support political marriages”

He paused as if he was thinking long and hard over something.

“But if love is a lie then why are there so many love stories?”

In another life Blaine fancied himself an actor, but he had no other life so this one had to suffice.

“Romeo Romeo” he said into the night. “ROMEO, ROMEO!” he shouted it out, the court already thought he was eccentric, so let them see it with their own eyes if they cared to watch. “Wherefore art thou Romeo!”

“Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?” said a voice from the garden below.

“Kurt!” Just below him, standing with crossed arms and a smirk was Kurt. “You came back!”

“I had to return your coat.”

Blaine climbed over the bannister and down the short ladder to Kurt.

“How long have you been out here?” He asked embarrassedly.

“Long enough to hear your soliloquy” replied Kurt “It was very dramatic, but you lack passion”

Blaine laughed, shocked at the boldness. Kurt held out the coat and waistcoat. “Besides, Romeo and Juliet is _hardly_ a love story. I don’t want to hear about you and Tina killing yourselves in three days’ time.”

_Me and Tina… yeah right. Baby it’s you, you’re the one I want._

“Lack passion?” said Blaine disbelievingly, ignoring the clothes. “I’m the most passionate person I know!”

“My condolences”

_Here he is, here’s my chance to say something and I’ve got nothing clever to say. But if I can just keep speaking I can get him to stay… If I can think of just one thing to say passionately._

“Love is like oxygen!” Blaine declared passionately.

“What?” Kurt looked confused.

“Love is a many splendid thing” he dramatically opened his arms “Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!”

“Please don’t start that again”

Blaine took his clothes from Kurt with one hand, took Kurt’s hand with the other, and dropped the clothes on to the bench step behind him.

“Hey, those will get crumpled!”

But Blaine didn’t care; he was a man on a mission. He had one chance to make an impression on Kurt, one chance to get him to like him. So he did what had gotten him through years of trying to make himself someone other than just ‘ _the useless_ prince’: He opened his mouth and sang

_“All you need is love.”_

“A guy _has_ got to eat” Kurt pointed out.

“ _All you need is love”_

Kurt made an indignant sound “He’ll end up on the street”

**_“_** _All you need is LOVE”._ Feeling brave, Blaine stepped up closer to Kurt.

But Kurt lightly pushed him back. “Love is just a game.”

Blaine opened his mouth again but Kurt bet him to it.

“Okay, fine. You win. You’re passionate. You can stop now.”

Singing wasn’t really working… but Blaine figured he could probably annoy Kurt into liking him.

“Hardly. _I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me”_

“I’m pretty sure you weren’t, _and_ you have a fiancé”

“She’s not my fiancé yet, She’s just a girl who thinks that I am the one.”

The idea that Blaine had no interest in Tina only silenced Kurt for a moment. “You still have to marry her”

“I can refuse. Say ‘ _Fuck the King_ ’ and live my life the way I want!” Blaine dropped to his knees in front of Kurt and gazed up at him.

“I don’t know what you want from me but I’m pretty sure that it’s treason” Kurt crossed his arms.

“Just one night, give me just one night” Blaine was pretty sure he didn’t mean to beg like that, it just sort of happened.

“There’s no way” Kurt scoffed,

“One night in the name of love!”

“You crazy fool! I won’t give in to you!” But Kurt was smiling and that was when Blaine knew that Kurt would give into him, and give into him on his own free will.

Kurt turned to leave.

“Don’t leave me this way. _I can’t survive without your sweet love, oh baby, don’t leave me this way.”_ Blaine sung.

Kurt turned back. He didn’t look fed up. The smirk was gone. Just a competitive look in his eye. Blaine had managed to convince Kurt to play this game with him and this was a game Blaine had never lost before and would not lose tonight.

_“You think that people would have enough of silly love songs”_ Kurt sung, his voice was the most beautiful thing Blaine had ever heard.

_“I look around me and I see it isn’t so.”_ Blaine jumped in for the second line.

_“Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs“_

_“Well what’s wrong with that, I’d like to know._ Because here I go again. _”_ Blaine ran and jumped on to the stone ledge of a flowerbed.

_“Love lifts us up where we belong, where the eagles fly on a mountain high!”_ Blaine sang at the top of his voice.

Kurt snatched at his hand and pulled him down. “Love makes us act like we are fools” he snapped and clapped his hand over Blaine’s mouth.  “Throw our lives away for one happy day.” He explained more gently.

Blaine could taste the tension in the air. In a few short lines they’d proven that they had Chemistry. He stood still under Kurt’s touch. Gently, Kurt removed his hand from Blaine’s mouth; he brushed along his cheek and down to a rest on his neck. Blaine gulped against the intimate touch.

“Please stop singing love songs” Kurt begged him, and Blaine could respect that.

“Do you not believe in love?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing

“I don’t believe in love with you. Go fall in love with Tina.”

“I can’t”

“Oh”

“Do you not believe or do you simply just object?”

“Does it matter?”  The tension was rising.

“Yes”

“Then it’s because I object.”

“So you do believe in loving me!” Blaine lifted a hand to Kurt’s waist

“What? N-“ Still, Kurt didn’t take his hand off Blaine’s neck.

“Oh my god is that why you got kicked out of the monastery?”

“I didn’t get kicked out, I already told y-” Blaine smiled his killer smile at Kurt causing him to stumble over his words “I- ugh. Who cares!”

Kurt leaned in and kissed him

It wasn’t cautious and light like the time Blaine had tried to kiss Sam, nor was it forceful and impersonal like kissing Sebastian had been. It made him made Blaine’s heart do backflips like he was 14 again, but he kissed back, eyes fluttering shut, desperate for those soft lips on his. His other hand came up to cup Kurt’s cheek and all too soon Kurt was pulling back.

“IIIIIII probably shouldn’t have done that” says Kurt weakly.

“But you did” Blaine pulled him in for another kiss.

The second kiss was messier and open mouthed. Blaine’s arm wrapped around Kurt’s waist and he made a soft noise as Kurt’s fingers started carding through his hair. He nipped at the other boy’s lips and was met with a sigh.

“I shouldn’t” Kurt said again.

_Dammit, why is this guy so insistent. I’ll do anything for him but he’s being so tense about this._

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t normally kiss guys I’ve just met. I don’t want to rush and ruin things”

_Rush and ruin things?_ Blaine thought to himself. _Things? Things! Does this mean this could be a THING. Ugh you ass of course, that’s why he’s been pushing back so much, he wants a REAL THING._

Blaine really needed to learn how to see into the future, he talked about “ _love”_ and “ _soulmates”_ but could barely plan past tomorrow. The future was an abstract idea of “ _I hope for this”_ and “ _I hope for that”._ He’d been so focussed on the idea that he might never see Kurt again that he hadn’t stopped to think about what if there was a next time. So Blaine tried his hardest to picture a tomorrow. He saw picnics, he saw dancing, he saw sheets wrapped around naked bodies, and the gentlest of kisses. He saw all he could make and he saw that it was good.

“Of course” He told Kurt and moved his hand from waist to shoulder. “I want to get to know you. Who _are_ you Kurt Hummel?”

“No questions” Kurt told him

“Oh come on”

“No questions or I go”

“No questions and how do I get to know you?” Blaine retorted.

“I’ll tell you what I want when I want”

“Will you tell me…. Will I see you again?”

“Yes”

Will you tell me… Will you come back tomorrow?”

“I’ll try”

“Will you hold my hand?”

“Yes”

“Will you kiss me again?”

“Perhaps”

“Will you let me kiss you?”

“Probably”

“Will you move in with me?”

_Wow Blaine, getting head of the game there._

“What?”

_Too late to take it back._

“You’re a monastery runaway, I don’t know where you’re living right now but I can guarantee it won’t have as good service as you would get if I set up a bed in my study for you. So will you move in with me”

“Okay”

“Wait… What?”

“Do you not want me to?”

“No I just didn’t think you’d actually say yes” He admitted.

“Just goes to show how little you know me”

“That’s hardly my fault. I’ll get Sam to prepare another bed right away”

Kurt frowned and looked a bit unsure of that. “No need! I’m not homeless. I have clothes and things I have to get”

“Of course. Of course, sorry.”

“But I’ll be back before dawn, don’t stay up for me”

_He’ll WHAT. He’ll come back before dawn? Is my life even real? Is Kurt even real? Am I going to wake to a dream?_

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

“Goodnight Blaine”

“Wait” Blaine lightly kissed Kurt and hoped he wasn’t stepping over the line “Now you can go”.

Kurt giggled and began to walk away.

_Never mind that I’ve been singing love songs already, but I think I’m falling for a stranger._

Back in his room, Blaine danced around his room in his excitement, jumping up and off the bed. He wondered for a moment if the backflips in his heart could help him successfully complete one of his own and decided it wasn’t a good idea. Truly he felt like the luckiest man alive.

///

Kurt walked in through the side door of the house.

“You’re home late” Kurt jumped at the voice.

“Papa! What are you doing still awake?” he cried.

“Waiting for you Kurt. How did it go?” Burt asked, appearing from the kitchen with a hunk of bread and some cheese which he placed in front of his son.

“Good. Oh papa, you’ll never guess what happened!” Kurt said excitedly, digging in to the food.

“You got lucky with a rich girl?”

“No. no, no, I befriended the prince! Prince Blaine!”

“Kurt oh my God, that’s fantastic. I sent you over there to find out what this whole foreign party is about and you befriended the Prince! I should have sent you in there earlier.”

“Oh yes, but there’s more Papa, he’s invited me to stay with him!”

“How? What? Kurt!”

“Well he knew immediately that I wasn’t some visiting noble-”

“He WHAT?” Burt looked shocked.

“But papa it’s okay, he has an eccentric sense of humour, he even helped me pretend by calling me one of his good friends and I even got to meet Lady Tina, she’s he woman he’s going to marry. And we got talking and Blaine he just… he invited me to come stay. Apparently me pretending to a noble was the most entertaining thing to happen in Dalton since he arrived.”

“Wait, who did you say you were after he realized you weren’t some Earl’s son? You didn’t blow our cover did you?

“I… I told him I was a monastery run away, wanting to see the rich life” Kurt didn’t meet his father’s eye. This was not the cover they’d agreed on.

“Kurt… You’re a genius! Wait… a monastery runaway? Now that’s hilarious, you hate religion. But I’m proud you, this is the big break for _The Cause._ You’re on the inside! We need this Kurt! For so long the taxes have been high, the poor have been poor, and the rich and elite keep everything they do a secret from the people. We’re finally going to bring down the Monarchy! Blood will be spilt and the people will rise!”

“Thanks Papa. I’d love to talk revolution with you now but I need to go and pack my things”

“Now?!”

“Yes Papa! Do you have a Bible I can take?”

Kurt dashed up the stairs to the room he shared with his brother, ignoring the stupefied look on his father’s face. This was his opportunity to prove himself, and Blaine was too obsessed with him to see Kurt’s double crossing. This was perfect, Kurt was helping _The Cause_ and he’d get some man candy at the same time.

Later when Kurt returned to Dalton Palace the edges of the sky at the eastern horizon was just starting to lighten. Here he was, ready to do what had to be done.

Infiltrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the fuck Kurt? What the hell Burt? What is happening? Please don’t tell me you’re going to give the dude you just kissed the guillotine treatment! What happened to the monastery? 
> 
> Oh did you see I quoted MJ and I’m (not) proud of it. and also kind of quoted frickin God. 
> 
> Yes… I know that it’s not good practice to annoy people into falling for you but nvm. 
> 
> Don’t forget to leave kudos!
> 
> Next chapter up by (or on, probably on) Wednesday


	4. The one with shitty poetry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who are you really and what were you before. What did you do and what did you think huh?”
> 
> “We said no questions”

“Shit and Crackers!”

Blaine woke up to the sound of someone his room. He shot up to see Kurt picking himself and his bag up off the floor.

“Watch the step” he tiredly.

“Blaine! Did I wake you? I’m so sorry” Kurt said nervously

“It’s okay, I’m just happy you came back.”

“I _said_ I would”

“Okay then _stranger_ whose every word I believe _”_ Blaine said affectionately.

Kurt came over and quickly kissed him on the lips but without warning.

“Good morning to you too!” quipped Blaine after Kurt sat down next to him.

“It’s barely morning; the sun is only just starting to rise”

Blaine remembered the Champagne bottle he had on his cabinet. “Will you watch the sunrise with me?” he asked.

“Uh… Yes”

Blaine grabbed his quilt off the bed and the bottle of wine. “There should be some wine glasses in the top draw” he said gesturing to the cabinet.

Kurt found two glasses and followed him out to the balcony. They sat on the old futon that had been there since Blaine was a child, and pulled the quilt around them.

Blaine popped the cork from the champagne bottle and poured Kurt a glass.

“Who are you really and what were you before. What did you do and what did you think huh?”

“We said no questions”

Blaine smiled as he finished pouring his own drink, Kurt really was sticking to this ‘mysterious’ act. He raised his glass. “Here’s looking at you kid”

“Kid?”

“You look young, how old are you anyway?”

“19”

“He answers!” Blaine exclaimed

“How old are you then? 20?”

“18”

"Huh, how about that then"

Kurt yawned and snuggled up closer to Blaine. They sat in silence like that; drinking their champagne and watching the sky get painted a soft pink.  “What time do you suppose it is?” asked Kurt.

“Maybe 5?”

“I’ve never been up this late.” Kurt said sleepily. Blaine thought he looked adorable sitting there his head on Blaine’s shoulder and his empty champagne flute dangling from his fingers. Eyes barely staying open.

“Go to bed Kurt” he told him “You need to sleep. Take my bed, I’ll be back in a few of hours after I breakfast with my father”

“Can you ask him lower taxes?” Kurt mumbled as they made their way to the bed.

“Yes of course.” Blaine kissed him on the cheek and left.

 

* * *

 

“Sam. Sam!” Blaine knocked on Sam’s door.

“Good morning Prince Blaine, you’re up quite early”

“Yes, I’m going for a walk and then to breakfast with the King, I came to tell you that it would be best, _please,_ not to let anyone into my room”

“Understood sir, hope you have a refreshing walk”

Blaine left for the extensive gardens, and walked until he heard the bell tower strike 8 and made his way back in time to be punctual for Breakfast. This was not his style, but Blaine was smart enough to know that it mattered to the King. 

He was still later than the King’s other guests; Blaine’s cousin Artie was there in his wheelchair and Tina stood with a few members of her party, some who looked familiar and some who didn’t.

“This is Doctor Michael Chang” The King announced “It is because of him that we have the pleasure of our first political ties with Korea”

It turned out that Blaine’s cousin Artie had travelled all the way to Korea for medicinal reasons and instead of finding a cure for his legs, he had found a political ally with the court physician. A few letters home and a marriage between Blaine and Tina was arranged, which was _absolutely wonderful._ Too bad no one had thought to tell Blaine of it until last minute.

They made small talk, which Blaine was very good at when he actually cared. Right now he didn’t care. He wanted to go back to Kurt and see if he could climb into bed next to him so he found an appropriate break in the conversation to push it into a close.

“I say, later today let’s go through an afternoon stroll and a light picnic in the gardens, if I remember correctly they are beautiful around this time of year. Lady Tina and Dr Chang, bring an entourage if you like, invite anyone else if you like. Father, if you aren’t too busy would you join us“

“No thank you, but I’ll send Lord Arthur in my place”

_Great. I’m his son and fucking Artie is his go to favourite._

“Okay, then it will be myself, Dr Chang, Lady Tina, Artie, oh did you meet my friend last night, I’ll invite him too”

“Sounds lovely” said Tina.

 

* * *

 

 

Blaine walked into his room to see Sam and Kurt chatting and setting up the spare bed in the study where Blaine hoped it would remain fairly unused.

“Hello Blaine” Kurt called out to him “Sam was just telling me about the time your wide range of hobbies. Acting, Singing, Fencing, Polo, Boxing, Writing, Poetry, Piano, Dancing, Astronomy, Astrology, Rowing, Languages... Is that all Sam?”

Sam nodded.

“It’s fantastic; I don’t understand why they call you the _Useless Prince_ ”

“That would be because I can’t paint or even draw.” Blaine looked at Sam and then between him and Kurt.

_What happened to best not to enter my room, huh?_

Sam smiled and shrugged.

“I’ve made plans for today, we are going on a picnic this afternoon, with Artie, Tina and Dr. Chang.” Blaine informed them and tried not to see how Kurt’s smile turned sour at Tina’s name.

 

* * *

The walk went okay, Blaine made a show of charming Tina, who made a show of charming him, but whenever she wasn’t looking he would look back at Kurt and roll his eyes. He spent so much time looking back at Kurt that he managed to stumble and nearly fall twice within an hour.

* * *

 

Blaine managed to shake off Tina’s invitation to eat dinner with her with an excuse of ‘ _tiredness’_. It’s a half-truth; half-truths are the key to navigating the social side of court.

Instead he had a humble meal with Kurt.

“What do you like to do Kurt?” He asked him

“Questions”

“Oh please, it’s a ‘who are you now question’. Not a question about your past”

“I like music”

“Is that why joined a monastery?”

Kurt looked up at him and Blaine knew that the monastery was not something he wanted to talk about. However it was pretty much all that Blaine does knew about him so he had to start there.

“I like beautiful clothes.” Kurt told him instead. It was an answer in its own way.

“Is that why you left?”

“I like to see new things”

Blaine wanted to know how a young man who had lived his entire life among monks and focusing on holy things has learned how to tell half-truths and avoid questions like this.

Kurt spoke again “And I like men”

_Ah, that would be it._

“I think we have a lot in common.” Blaine said

Kurt let out a small laugh “ _Sure._ Tell me about yourself then”

Blaine didn’t like to talk about himself. Actually, that was completely untrue, he loved to talk about himself but he knew it wasn’t very classy to always talk about yourself but had Kurt asked him, so he started telling stories. He told Kurt where the name ‘ _The Useless Prince’_ came from, he told him about growing up in Dalton and being sent away, he told him about his older brother Cooper and how irritating he was, and he told Kurt about his teachers at Nordtun.

He was so into the discussion that he didn’t notice Sam cleared their plates away until suddenly he was sitting next to Kurt on the bed, and soaking up the way that Kurt nodded and smiled as he listened.

“Read me some of your poetry” Kurt asked him suddenly.

Blaine thought it was a frightening request but he complied.

“ _Tiptoe tiptoe, Quiet shadow_

_Mouse in a house_

_Feline, makes a beeline_

_Pounce, Squeak, Rustle, Dead.”_

It wasn’t Blaine’s best poem, but he was too scared to share the ones he truly liked. If Kurt said he didn’t like this one then at least it wouldn’t be a personal one.

“Your words a very clever but you lack passion. “ Kurt told him cheekily.

It was the expected answer but Blaine frowned anyway,

“Passion?” he asked and leaned over to Kurt who leaned back until he was flat on his back. Blaine had to put a hand out to stop him falling over onto him. Their faces were inches apart and Kurt was looking at his lips. “Passion?” he repeated, laughing at little.

“If I kiss you will you spare me the love songs?” Kurt asked him with a smile.

“No guarantees” he said and Kurt kissed him anyway.

Kissing Kurt was fun, Blaine decided. Kurt reacted to everything, he had smiled and giggled and blushed and had touched him back. Everything with Kurt was sensual, and it struck Blaine that he’d been missing out on so much when he would hook up with guys who kissed dirty and fast. Their legs tangled together and Blaine was kissing at a spot on Kurt’s neck when a hand pushed at his shoulder.

“Stop.” Kurt told him. “Read me something else”

Blaine had to laugh at that… it was so _Kurt_ , even if Blaine didn’t really know what ‘so _Kurt’_  meant yet. He sat back and tried to think of another poem.

“ _How quiet is the spruce…”_ Blaine started, looking at the ceiling to try and remember all the words. 

He kept his words soft and light until he stumbled on the last line. When he looked down to see if Kurt had noticed, his eyes hit a sleeping figure.

_I think I’ve found another thing I’m useless at._ Thought Blaine. _My poetry is so bad it puts people to sleep._

It didn’t really matter though, the sun was setting behind the trees and a soft golden light filled the room and for a moment it seemed things were just right so Blaine curled up next to Kurt and tucked them in between the sheets. He fell asleep immediately and didn’t even wake when Kurt slipped out at midnight to write and send a letter.

 

* * *

 

_Dear Papa,_

_I hope you receive this letter quickly. Palace life is beautiful and full of colour, it is so unlike what I am used to!_

_Prince Blaine is everything that a popular young rich man “should” be. He’s involved with all the interests that money can buy: Fencing, Singing, Polo, Poetry, etcetera. I think it is a waste of money. The prince is nicknamed “The Useless Prince” and he tells me this is because of his parentage. Did you know that when the Old King died, his wife remarried to the man who is the current king, they had a son called Cooper who is apparently awfully irritating? (Blaine’s words, I can’t make my own judgement because Prince Cooper is currently away in the Americas!) anyway, after Cooper’s birth the New King divorced his wife, remarried another woman who died, and then remarried yet again to Blaine’s mother… Blaine is a whole 15 years younger than his older brother. So Blaine is the useless prince because he’s young and used to get in the way of things when he was younger but the name has stuck because  – oh Papa you’re not going to be happy about this- He’s useless at all things political. He’s very exciting to be around and everyone seems to like him, but I wouldn’t trust him to lead. He seems like the type to throw parties and buy expensive things for the sake of it and not even be aware that there’s a world outside the Palace gates._

_Nobody wants to give him responsibility, which is fantastic and wouldn’t be an issue if he wasn’t going to be getting married to Lady Tina from Korea. The King wants to make strong political ties with the kingdom of Korea so he is ‘gifting’ the opportunity for Prince Blaine and his wife-to-be to rule the northern state. (Though I cannot say if this is 100% as I was told it my gossiper of a girl named Rachel) Lady Tina seems ‘lovely’ but who knows what she’ll be like once she has secured herself a foothold here._

_Fortunately the prince doesn’t particularly want to marry Tina, and because he is so politically foolish I wouldn’t be surprised if he refused to (with a good enough reason of course). I do believe that if Prince Blaine falls in love with someone else he will refuse the marriage, lose his future leadership position, and the partnership with Korea will fail, making our jobs easier and our tax payer money safer.  Now I just need to find him a woman who won’t put him in a position of power._

_Much love,  
Kurt._

_P.S. I would tell you more of the politics here but like I said, my main sources of information are the  politically illiterate, and the crazy gossipers. I’ll let you know more information as I find it out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say Wednesday? yeah I meant Thursday.... oops
> 
> Author likes Casablanca and Guys and Dolls wayyy too much.


	5. The one where Kurt steals the governments secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes, love develops, letters are written, the queen is a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OkAY STOP. STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND please listen to Queen's 'You Take My Breath Away'. It's beautiful and i also use some of the lyrics in this.

Time passed. Kurt and Blaine fell into a routine of waking up, making a plan for the day which either involved avoiding Tina, the King, and the Queen, or was the complete opposite and killed three birds with one stone by Blaine playing the part of adoring son and handsome suitor while Kurt played the role of ‘best friend’. Then they would spend their evening together and find an excuse to sleep in the same bed. Blaine stole kisses while Kurt stole small pieces of information and worked on his cover story.

_Dear Papa,_

_On the back of this paper is a castle map which I managed to get off Blaine’s Manservant._

One day they greased the steps by the apartment of the Court Treasurer. It was Blaine’s idea but Kurt was eager to comply. They giggle about it for hours after. When Kurt asks Blaine why target Lord Bryan Ryan in particular Blaine tells him that he’s the Treasurer, so he’s obviously corrupt.

_Dear Papa,_

_The treasurer is a corrupt man. I suspect that the whole high court is like this. No surprises to be found this week._

Another day while Blaine is tied up in ‘business’ Kurt went and saw Lady Rachel in a singing lesson. She was a real diva of a soprano and _if_ the court composer hadn’t been married to a woman who he obviously adored, Kurt would’ve suspected that he had ulterior motives in writing solos that were perfectly suited to Rachel’s voice. Afterwards he found her, showered her in compliments, took her arm, and walked through the gardens. Rachel loved to gossip, because when she gossiped all eyes were on her.

“I think the Artie is in love with Tina” she told him.

“How unfortunate for all parties” he said as neutrally as possible.

They giggled and talked about music and fashion and her singing and how Rachel was going to run away to Paris and be a singer there if she was _ever_ forced to marry someone. Kurt found he legitimately enjoyed spending time around her even if he did think she was incredibly self-absorbed.

_Dear Papa,_

_Aside from those who are in charge, the residents of Dalton Palace are self-absorbed and have no concept of the real world. They care about art and music and fairy-tale endings. It is an envious lifestyle but do not expect help from anyone who lives behind the gates._

Kurt knew that Blaine really liked him (and that Blaine was deeply attracted to him). He did not find this to be an issue; rather the issue lay with Kurt being equally attracted to Blaine. Blaine would kiss him and kiss at his neck and collar bone, their hands would all over each other in soft whispers and moans of “more” and “just like that” but Kurt would pull away before his soft noises could turn into confessions of what his business here in Dalton really was. So most of the time they would simply lie there together and Blaine would ask questions that Kurt desperately wanted to answer truthfully but couldn’t.

Blaine pushed and pushed him with questions and came away with truths like “I owned a dog called Elliot” and lies like “My mother and father are dead, now can you please stop asking me about why I joined the monastery”

_Dear Papa,_

_I am struggling to find a suitable love interest for Blaine. Other news is that I told him that both my parents and dead, I think he takes that as a good enough reason for me to not answer all his questions._

There was one night Kurt woke up for no reason and couldn’t go back to sleep so he sat with a pencil and paper but couldn’t find anything new to tell his father. Blaine was still asleep on the bed, top sheet around his waist and shirtless in the warmth of the summer night. He looked like a sex symbol and he looked like a God, he looked handsome and he looked immortal and before he had even realised it, Kurt had sketched his likeness.

Kurt woke up with a sore neck and back and everything. He had fallen asleep in the chair and Blaine had woken him up. He stirred and the pencils and paper clattered to the floor where Blaine picked them up before he could stop him.

Blaine stared at the sketch of him and looked… touched.

“Why did you draw me this way?” he asked. He was talking about the way that the drawing looked like a sexualized dream.

“Because that’s how I see you”

It turned out that no one had seen Blaine like that before.

  _Dear Papa,_

_I have recently realised that Blaine is gay. It seems obvious now that I know. It makes my search for a love interest for him decidedly more difficult._

Kurt started telling half-truths in his letters home before it happened, and he continued lying to his father afterward. “It” was Blaine writing a poem for Kurt. It was a good poem, it didn’t rhyme but when Blaine read it out to him with a simply scared sincerity it flowed like a song and it was the most intimate thing Kurt had ever experienced.

“Look into my eyes and you'll see,  
I'm the only one  
You've captured my love  
Stolen my heart  
Changed my life.  
Every time you make a move  
You destroy my mind  
And the way you touch  
I lose control and shiver deep inside  
You take my breath away  
  
You can reduce me to tears  
With a single sigh  
Every breath that you take -  
Any sound that you make  
Is a whisper in my ear  
I could give up all my life for just one kiss  
I would surely die  
If you dismiss me from your love  
You take my breath away”

Blaine was in love with him. It was obvious and it was the most guilt inducing feeling for Kurt, because this is what he wanted and now all of a sudden he couldn’t stand the idea having that much control over someone.

The guilt was so crippling that Kurt couldn’t think straight and could barely pretend that he was feeling flattered by this rather than feeling like sin. Blaine kissed him and Kurt kissed back and kissed back and kissed back because it was easier for him to close his eyes, kiss, and focus on kissing not thinking. Clothes were pulled off and discarded and Kurt pretended all that he could feel was the physical attraction, the physical touch, the lips and hands on the most intimate places of his body.

_Dear Papa,_

_Blaine has made a move on me. I think he may be in love with me which is unexpected but don’t you worry father. I’m stringing him along, I just need time to convince him to do something chaotic publicly reject Tina before I make my ‘escape’._

Kurt spent more time with Rachel after that, making sure to be seen walking in public spaces with their arms linked. Rumours flew and Rachel loved the attention even though she made it quite clear to him that she wasn’t actually interested, thank God.

_Dear Papa,_

_Do not be concerned for my safety, I am making a show of courting Rachel, she’s very nice. I don’t know when you plan to revolt but I’d prefer it if you don’t do anything put her in prison when you do revolt._

It occurred to Kurt one day that he needed to hurry along his operation his Blaine not marrying Tina. One night when Blaine held him close he begged him to not marry Tina.

“I love you Blaine and if you love me back you wouldn’t marry Tina”. He begged him, with half fake tears in eyes.

Blaine insisted that he did love Kurt and disappeared the next day to inform his mother that he would not marry Tina, only to come back with his hand more forced.

“She says I HAVE TO marry Tina and thinks I have a male lover, but doesn’t think it’s you because you spend so much time with Rachel” Blaine told him miserably.  

_Dear Papa,_

_The queen is smart, but she isn’t kind. She snaps at the Maids. Blaine has told her he doesn’t want to marry Tina but she’s determined that he will. Luckily I have Blaine under my thumb and he’ll follow me wherever I go. Joy._

One night they snuck out at night to watch the stars, slipping past guards during the change, and leaving Sam to cover all their tracks for them. Blaine held his hand and whispered made up stories of what the names of the constellations meant. Kurt was getting awfully fond of Blaine, he adored how the brunet’s eyes would light up whenever he could turn something into art. He loved the way that Blaine told stories, spinning off into details that didn’t matter except to make the ending more grand.

_Dear Papa,_

_The guards on the west corner change at 10:30. Some servants are gossips, Blaine’s manservant Sam is loyal to a fault._

Then one day Blaine showed Kurt his favourite place in the entire world: the little hidden beach by the lake in the vast gardens. Kurt heard him say he’d never shown anyone it before and realized the guilt he felt wasn’t because he was pretending to be in love with Blaine, it was that he was going to betray the man he loved.

They made love that night. Real Love. Kurt lost himself in it, high on the knowledge that his “I love you”s were honest and requited.

Kurt woke in the early hours but when he placed his pencil and paper and in front of him to write to his father, he looked at Blaine with moonlight in his messy hair and could only write:

_Dear Papa,_

_Please don’t hurt Blaine; I’ve grown rather found of him._

It was the last letter he sent to his father and it was his big mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAY TO GO KURT....just tell your dad you're fake dating a guy that you apparently all hate, then tell him that you're suddenly fond of him.... what's Burt going to think.?


End file.
